When the Joint Stops Smoking Itself.

On average, those who are bound to fall apart do so for a while. Crazy fact, huh? We continuously fall apart for a while until we decide to stop, or until the thing that makes things happen AKA god decides it stops.

However, on very rare occasions we sometimes keep falling apart and there is no break. We eventually reach a state of: Fuck. I have officially fallen apart. I have officially been broken down. Everything that I am, everything that I have worked towards (be it being, learning, moving, etc) is no longer. We then become horribly depressed, maybe even suicidal.

1. If you’re lucky, you have a good support system to back you up.

2. If you’re unlucky, you have a good support system to back you up.

Here’s the thing. The support system, the exoskeleton as I would much prefer to call it, can not offer much but whatever their best idea of support is.

Here’s the, far, far cooler thing.

I have been falling apart for the last god knows how many months. For the last god knows how many years, really. And recently, I realised that I have finally fallen apart. The -ing is no longer.

You know those motherfuckers that build their own PCs? Well, why do they do it? Other than the fact they’re nerds, and that it actually is super cool to build your own PC -let alone anything- * you can put in parts that modify the PC’s functions. A PC from 2009 won’t have all the same parts as a PC from now.

And so, each year, these companies and people think of what we need and imagine the thing’s other people could never imagine because they don’t exist within this field ( ;ergo there’s perimeters of stone around this field of knowledge to those who don’t study it ) and they create the parts to and the codes to re-organise the computer’s brain in a way that these parts and ideas would make sense to it. When we finally fall apart, we should stop seeing it as just being parts of a machine that has broken down. Though I do agree with it from an Eliminativist perspective, that is not the whole truth. I, dear followers (like religiously, biblical? You get what I mean- like a leader’s followers- ok im done anyways) thing I might have figured out the goddamn (I’ve been watching a lot of suits lately okay?) problem.

Or rather the blind spot that we keep missing because of our grey areas (

1. Yes, grey areas. Not gray. Remember kids, the e is for the English and the a is for the Americans.

2. We really underestimate the value of food, more specifically nutrition, and how it regulates the chemicals not just in our blood and also in our brains. We could probably heal our severe anxiety- severe, not chronic- with the help of nutritionists not just psychiatrists. Fuck B.I.G pharma. Kosomohom. Echt waar.

3. Unrelated, but the fact that nutritionists exist is mental. We are taught about the food pyramid (bee tee dubz, the food pyramid you were taught in school is false. Though to be completely honest, one should also take in regard how different food pyramids work for {the evolution of} the people from different lands.

The blind spot, simply, is the fact that a machine that has been broken down and has all its parts and pieces on the ground. Indicating, really- meaning, that this means it can be rebuilt. Differently. If you have a top from the early 2000’s and now it is no longer in style, you can make it work if you re-think how the outfit you wear along the top can help modernise it. Bring it to present.

You are now merely a chaotic pile of well-organised and distinguished parts and pieces. New pieces can be thought of, no pieces can be created, old pieces can be thrown out, or put in a hall of good pieces that were once relevant and are no longer but still deserve the pride you have given it and a place in your personal hall of fame of parts. Parts can be physical, they can be characteristics, personality, all of your attributes essentially.

Survival of

[ Here’s a good piece of advice I just gave: To learn how to tolerate spicy foods, learn to force, and teach yourself to get over the feeling of pain and sharpness and start focusing on the taste and flavour of the spice itself. It comes from a plant at the end of the day. It does have a taste, look for it.]

the fittest, right? Everything in nature including humans evolve in a way helps us achieve maximum whatever. Or whatever. You catch my drift. Some aspects remain the same, some are removed, and some new ones are created and put in place.

When you feel like you’ve finally fallen apart, you can now rebuild yourself.

At the end of the day, here’s the final conclusion guys, ready?

We adapt our habits to the environments we live in. When you’ve fallen apart, that means its time to let go of our old adaptation (think of it like film adaptations), reworking, whatever you wanna call it, and remodel ourselves in a way that fits into our new environments.

Congratulate yourself; because you’re a machine that pushed itself to its limits. Though often times that process is negative, and though often times the result is negative- you still pushed yourself to your limits.

I was conversing with a dear friend of mine at the university forest, and we spoke about how our mania can be used in a way that benefits us. Not for the shitty things we do when we’re manic though (of course it can, but I mean that it can be actively, purposely used to do that in a way that helps with self-betterment).

So that skill, pushing yourself to the limit, can be retaught to and by yourself in a way that can serve you(r) purpose.



music and self-reflection nerd

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